Team Sassypants

“I’ll be your Emmylou and I’ll be your June if...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:58:24 -0500

“I’ll be your Emmylou and I’ll be your June if you’ll be my Graham and my Johnny, too…”

So I’m watching the Iowa caucus results roll in with...

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:45:27 -0500

So I’m watching the Iowa caucus results roll in with @taffel. My one outstanding question, errrr, concern rather, is the inevitable likening of this electoral procedure to nothing more important that elementary school class presidents. THESE PEOPLE ARE COUNTING SHEETS OF PAPER. OR CLAPPING THEIR HANDS. OR VERBALIZING YAY/NAY TO INDICATE THEIR PREFERENCE FOR FUTURE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. I can’t.

More importantly, according to The New York Times’ David Carr and his cohorts, tonight is the 8-year anniversYAHHHry of Howard Dean’s infamous outburst. Dude was stoked.

Getting Into Bed with Kevin McCallister... and every other child of the '90s.

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:03:16 -0500

I’m thrilled to know that “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York” has elevated itself to Christmas Eve broadcast status. There is nothing like John Hughes to make your lonely Jewish soul feel enchanted on a night like this. The movie is so beautifully shot and the soundtrack was a staple of carpool afternoons during elementary school holiday seasons. And of course, there is no denying Kevin McCallister, the most creative and resourceful little motherfucker on the planet.

As if the sequel needed any additional confirmation of quality, I noticed that the McCallister’s attic features THE ’90s bedding. Seriously - this particular pattern of sheets was used in pretty much every movie and TV from 1989ish onward. In fact (and definitely if you lived among Jewish suburbia at this time), you probably had it at your own house, and if not, your friend/neighbor’s house, for sure.

I literally saw it on the bunk bed of Lippman’s son in the “Serenity Now” episode of Seinfeld in syndication last night.

And if your parents got you on the Full House bandwagon in the early days, you know this was the bedding of Stephanie and DJ Tanner, pre-makeover from Aunt Becky.

PS. I wish the above screengrab of Dave Coulier with the pedicure and hair-doing was the Same Picture of Dave Coulier Every Day. I also wish he was wearing a jazzier sweater.

Pardon My Catharsis: A 2011 Chronology | Albums of the Year

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 17:18:00 -0500

On the whole, 2011 finally gave me everything I could have ever wanted in a slate of new music: blissful, psychedelic, sonically stimulating, and soulful. In a year where it was apparent that roots were of higher priority than the runaround, these releases managed to hit every note. Everything lives in this Spotify playlist - put the entire thing on shuffle for a good time.

REAL ESTATE - “DAYS” | The albums that stick with me the most are the ones I want to live inside of. The kinds that emit this weird visualizable aura worthy of hopping inside and sealing up, like a sonic Ziploc. The complete portrait sewn together by Real Estate on “Days” is what I’ll carry with me most closely from 2011. Perhaps it was the timing and juxtaposition of the jangly guitars with the leaves changing and flickering “in the sun, in the sun…” or the endless marvel of feeling effortlessly connected with a slate of songs showcasing the shared insights and sentiment crafted from a group of guys my own age. Start to finish, this is the one from this year that I will never let go.

KURT VILE - “SMOKE RING FOR MY HALO” | The sonic Ziploc effect also vividly applies to “Smoke Ring For My Halo.” For as much as Kurt Vile’s singular effort as a singer-songwriter stands on its own, I wish he’d given the Violators billing on this too. His unforgettable guitar lines and rambly lyricism wouldn’t be the same without the lush backdrop. The melding of Kurt Vile’s introspection with warm psychedelic overtones has made this an eternal go-to.

ATLAS SOUND - “PARALLAX” | If I learned one thing in 2011, it’s that I don’t want to live in a world where Bradford Cox isn’t making music. Cox’s particular evolution is stunning. To think I used to dread seeing his live shows - whether with Deerhunter or solo - because of their darkness and heaviness many years ago, now feels crazy to me as he’s progressively and beautifully mastered soaring hooks in the time since deafening drone and blinding strobes. His songs have grown into shimmering gems of driving melodic perfection that beg for the repeat button, and most often, I give in.

STEPHEN MALKMUS AND THE JICKS - “MIRROR TRAFFIC” | Is it appropriate to compare Malkmus to Kerouac based on his dependence of what sounds like streams of consciousness? With respect to “Mirror Traffic,” I’m fortunate that Beck wasn’t willing to leave the majority of Malkmus’ streams on the cutting room floor. These streams + absolutely incredible electric guitar shred + a sonic portrait painted by Beck as producer = total solidity.

MEGAFAUN - “MEGAFAUN” | I can’t even begin to explain how surprised I was to hear within ten seconds of this album starting that Megafaun had decidedly shed its bluegrass skin in exchange for deeper electric melodies, somehow balancing a bigger sound with an unmatched lyrical intimacy. The overall depth of this release is nearly incomparable to the band’s previous efforts. It makes sense it was self-titled, signifying a purposeful rebirth that calls to shades of the greater classic rock past while pushing the band forward in a markedly strong direction.

THE WAR ON DRUGS - “SLAVE AMBIENT” | This album title aptly exists for a reason. The War on Drugs managed to conjure and perpetuate a particular landscape better than anyone else this year - one where your intent is to let go within its walls, get lost only to run along and move seamlessly with wild intent on a rich, driving journey. Drones soar while the percussion pulsates and vocals linger alongside. It’s a trip I’ll continue to take for years to come.

WHITE DENIM - “D” / “LAST DAY OF SUMMER” | I love White Denim because their amalgamative tendencies are like no other band. Garage rock roots tied to experimental jam, acid jazz, billowy bass lines birthing funk, strange syncopation and lyrical sensitivity just leading to consistent brain explosion with every spin. I loved the polish and consistency of “D” but although made and so quietly released in 2010, I found “Last Day of Summer” in the first half of this year, and it is exemplary. It’s an expression of what a dexterous band can do without pressure - a.k.a. when every artist is at their absolute best. The inspiration of loose improvisation and rough-and-tumble melody are evident in both, but for some reason “Last Day of Summer” feels simply limitless.

CHARLES BRADLEY - “NO TIME FOR DREAMING” | Has anyone ever told you something so bluntly and brutally truthful that it felt like a shot to the chest? Try listening to that over and over for an hour, but somehow feeling fulfilled as opposed to falling apart by the end. This is the bittersweet brutality of Charles Bradley - heartbreak and hope coupled with an infallible boogie. The Screaming Eagle of Soul so earnestly gives you a glimpse through the shades with all of his best, that you can’t help but want to send him yours too. As the Menahan Street Band provides such a beautiful and precise backdrop to the tales of Charles’ long journey and trials, it’s hard to not see the richness in even the littlest aspects of life after listening.

BASS DRUM OF DEATH - “GB CITY” | As if this list has not already confirmed it, I almost solely get down on music by dudes. In this vein, consider “GB City” the ultimate. Classic punk urgency with an evident pop lean, John Barrett has produced perfection. Loud, thrashing, lamenting but bright, “GB City” was the gift that kept on giving whenever I may have needed a pep in my step along with the balls I do not physically have.

THE STEPKIDS - “THE STEPKIDS” | The Stepkids personified what could be possible in a fenceless musical playground, calling back to classic pulsations of Frank Zappa and Funkadelic, but reformed into a laser-precise futuristic vision. Tightly-woven, thick harmonies under an organic-sounding layer of lo-fi sensibility, the LP feels like microcosmic time transport - but you can’t figure out which direction to go in your mind’s eye - you just allow it move you, and in the end that’s all that matters.

TENNIS - “CAPE DORY” | An album that not only provides a phantom sensations of summer and sunshine, but similarly, those tiny explosions of the heart. A musical voyage through what it feels like to be physically unbounded, and uncontrollably happy. The effects of this album are only accelerated by the conditions under which it was written and inspired - sailing without constraints between destinations unknown with the only accessories being bodies of water, finding land if you feel like it, and the company of the love of your life. In the words of Tina Fey, “I want to go to there.”

GAUNTLET HAIR - “GAUNTLET HAIR” | Forcefully hitting the sonic notes of other staples that didn’t produce new material in 2011 such as Animal Collective, Cymbals Eat Guitars and Japandroids, Gauntlet Hair covered off on all of their aesthetics in a notable way that felt reverent but not overly reliant or referential. I credit this to the band’s youth - most likely the key factor that gave the duo the energy to make something truly boisterous. Equal parts groovy, trippy, booming and restless, their debut injected zealous energy into an otherwise computer-controlled indie rock atmosphere this year.

DOM - “FAMILY OF LOVE” | PUJOL - “NASTY BRUTISH AND SHORT” | FORT LEAN - “GATHERING THE MAGIC” | This slate of EP’s was nothing short of excellent, proving dude can be teases too. Four to seven songs were just not enough from each of them. Some of the strongest pop-rock to emerge in 2011, all three bands produced serious earworms and a palate of work leaving listeners salivating for more. In an Internet age, these young bands proved rightfully radio-ready, if only it was 10-15 years ago. DOM’s bratty tones transform into charm. Daniel Pujol expertly brings his own LP’s title to life with twangy and gritty garage rock turns. Fort Lean’s yelps of yearning leave the listener lingering with hooks ringing in their heads.

OTHER ASSORTED OBVIOUS INSTA-CLASSICS AND ALBUMS WORTH MENTIONING:

1. I’m sorry but WALKING IN AN ORGY WONDERLAND is...

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 23:48:36 -0500

1. I’m sorry but WALKING IN AN ORGY WONDERLAND is completely audible and undeniable.

2. I’m more than certain the elf that has lines in this commercial is Beans from Even Stevens.

AMERICAN JUGGALO - a beautifully shot short-form documentary by...

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 02:25:39 -0400

AMERICAN JUGGALO - a beautifully shot short-form documentary by sean dunne

‎”family love.” “controlled anarchy.” what bob lefsetz referred to as “the human circus.” this is riveting and puzzling in its own weird way, just like the juggalos themselves. just give it a chance. oh yeah… clearly not safe for work, the conservative-minded, and probably the faint of heart. whoop whoop?

stephen colbert at age 22. HOLY EFFING DREAMBOAT ALERT. via...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 19:36:11 -0400

stephen colbert at age 22. HOLY EFFING DREAMBOAT ALERT. via buzzfeed

dream boyfriend

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 17:16:00 -0400

“bachelor pad” tom hanks.

Digital Culture at the Demise of Osama bin Laden | My first piece for Death and Taxes

Mon, 02 May 2011 18:48:00 -0400

Digital Culture at the Demise of Osama bin Laden | My first piece for Death and Taxes:

Enjoy!

Ernest Greene clearly has sex on the brain.

Mon, 02 May 2011 11:47:21 -0400

I love Washed Out. It makes me proud to hail from the same musical place as the person who birthed one of the first significant genres in this millennium. Chillwave is not a fad, it’s a state of mind and outpouring of pleasant vibes. It cannot be denied. It has never come from an especially sexy place… until now.

Stereogum announced Ernest’s first full length album on Sub Pop today - Within and Without. The first track is great. The album art? Already sending a very clear message.

A MESSAGE THAT WAS ALREADY COMMUNICATED IN THE MOST RECENT ISSUE OF COSMO!

Rhythmic sex and Washed Out’s new album - guaranteed to increase the female orgasm by 56%. The internet and print both told me so.

Today in things that are unreal: In 1993, Shannen Doherty...

Sun, 01 May 2011 11:47:02 -0400

Today in things that are unreal:

In 1993, Shannen Doherty decided to dive into music. She intended for her band to sound like “a cross between U2 and Pearl Jam.” (Really?) AND JOHN CORBETT WAS IN SAID BAND. That’s right - Sex and the City heartthrob Aidan Shaw and Applebee’s spokesman, John Corbett.

If you pay attention to anything in this clip, watch out for what Sassy Gay Friend has to say about Shannen’s bang trim habits at the 2:08 mark, as well as Kurt Loder’s closing zinger right before it ends. SICK BURN, LODER!

I love more than anything that a bunch of uber-badass underground ‘zine chicks started an I HATE BRENDA Newsletter, then proceeded to purposefully blow up Doherty’s spot as she was trying to kick it to Eddie Vedder. I love the guy who later in this clip calls the assault on Doherty and Brenda Walsh “pop culture terrorism.”

AND NOW: the hilarious tale of how I simultaneously created an Internet sensation and was let go from my full-time job.

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 14:00:00 -0400

The date: April 26, 2011

The scene: An open-air desk space cluttered with spec printouts, unused chopsticks, and comp-subscription tabloid rags in a downtown NYC ad agency.

2:10PM: The conditions were chaotic. I had been in meetings, briefings, and the often-nagging minutia of creating charts and timelines and updating spreadsheets all morning. Sometimes I don’t mind this - I crawl into my headphone zone and knock those things out with a strange passion driven by tunes blasting to incomprehensible volumes - just ask the people that sat within three rows of my workspace. But on this afternoon, I had only ingested a Vita Coco and snack bag of Cool Ranch Doritos by then, and… well… yeah. I was starving. It was also gorgeous outside, dudes all over New York were breaking out their man-dals, and I wasn’t exactly increasing my level of Vitamin D underneath rows of flourescent lights.

And then, like the light of Jacob’s Ladder beaming through an impenetrable cluster of cumulus clouds, my partner in Internet crime, the darling Brian Moore (of Dating Brian fame and such… such as in crying in front of Marina Abramovic and later airing on “The View” for all moms of America to see), informed me that our baby was ready to meet life: Tom Haverfoods! A single-serve meme site that embraced so many of my most favorite things in life: brilliant comedy writing, strong character acting, puns, and pop culture references. With the help of Brian, as well as my “girlfraaaands” Alyssa and Liz, we spent the greater part of Monday amassing a hysterical spec list of what WE would call foods if we were Tom Haverford. (In fact, when Aziz found us and passed us along to his fans, he fatefully picked one of each of our contributions: Butter Boats (me), Milk on the Rocks (Liz), and Cold Puppies (Alyssa).

2:12PM: I post the live site to my various social networks, as do my steadfast co-creators.

2:14PM: I get a cryptic inter-office phone call from a nearby conference room.

2:17PM: “We regret to inform you that your position has been eliminated. It’s just the nature of our business…” and then I just let it sink in. This was happening to me… AGAIN! Hilariously, I took this news just fine albeit being somewhat blindsided. Reason being: this was not my first layoff rodeo. I was let go from a magazine publishing house in 2008 - AKA the era of “PRINT IS DEAD!” - after only being in New York for four months, which is too short of a period to accrue enough time on the state’s books to qualify for unemployment. After being LITERALLY kicked to the curb once before and somehow prevailing, having some semblance of comfortable severance felt nearly victorious.

2:20PM: Exit room, dismissal package in hand. Start shaking uncontrollably. Get my shit together and shake it off. Call parents. Keep a straight face in the presence of my coworkers throughout the most open and transparent office space on the planet.

2:25PM onward: Continuously increase laughter and disbelief, while packing up my things. Say my goodbyes and head home - not bitter because of my job loss, but rather uncontrollably ecstatic over this project’s ability to bring pleasure to such a ridiculous amount of people.

On what could have been a dark day, Tom Haverfoods remained my shining light. Our viewership was growing at rates that literally made my eyes bug out of my skull. By 3:15PM, Parks and Recreation creator Michael Schur and Aziz himself had both embraced the site. We were picked up by New York Magazine’s Vulture blog - my mecca of pop culture commentary and coverage - as well as The Daily What, Buzzfeed, The Frisky, Eater, Entertainment Weekly and The Huffington Post.

And now, 24 hours later:

164,000 unique visitors
2.8 million page views
30,000+ “Likes” on Facebook
2,000+ Tweets
The marked awareness of Aziz and Amy Poehler on a red carpet!!!
Coffee in bed in a room lit by only natural sunlight and “Terminally Chill” on repeat, not just as a means of maintaining my sanity, but because we should ALL be riding chillwaves in weather this nice

That is a near excessive amount of laughter and good will for one day!

People of the Internet: you have blown me away in these past 24 hours with your shared appreciation for humor and culture. I am proud to serve you and fuel your giggles! Now won’t you help me find a way to do this on a daily basis somehow somewhere?! It would truly mean everything.

Here are all the things I can do! Here is where you can write to me! I want to do so many things! I have so many other ideas and abilities tucked away within this head of red hair! But for now, I will continue to hold my head high, and stay hungry.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of this loveliness, endless interconnected Internet-land. I hope to hear from one of your inhabitants soon. But for now, please excuse me while I go prepare myself a cheesy flip-flip & Kevin Bacon with a side of flat chips and milk on the rocks for my ‘zert.

TEAM SASSYPANTS: another chapter in "chronicles from the college campus" care of @candice_jones

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 14:18:12 -0500

OK, there is this girl in my IDIS class who I can’t stand. She is SUPER PEPPY and that’s not even why I hate her, but it’s not helping. She has like, a poem tattooed in the middle of her back and she wears open back shirts so everyone can see. Today she was sitting in front of me and was like, “Is my back bothering you? I just realized (I BET) that I was wearing an open shirt, I didn’t know if you were offended by tattoos.” Slut, please. I am not offended by the Jewel or Tori Amos poem tattooed on your back. NEXT.

The first week of class we had to do this q & a thing to get to know each other and our teacher asked us to name a person who you considered a role model and she named some woman she met in Freshman Orientation who was “Just so helpful and had a great attitude, she’s my hero.” She is NOT your role model, you kiss-ass. You know who mine was? PATSY STONE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aFcM9P2l1k&feature=related

the stepkids - “legend in my own mind” such a treat....

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:13:18 -0500

the stepkids - “legend in my own mind”

such a treat. nothing like a bunch of awkward jewish boys playing stone cold soul. fantastic live show too. love love love love love.

Teenage Nightmare: MTV's Reinterpretation of "Skins"

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 02:00:00 -0500

The teen television drama is a canon in itself. We’re all too aware of the Walsh Twins, Seth and Summer and Ryan and Marissa (FOREVER), Dawson vs. Pacey, the murder of Keith Scott (REST IN PEACE UNCLE KEITH), and of course, the Degrassi basketball star named Jimmy Brooks who was shot by a crazy dude and tragically confined to a wheelchair before being adopted by lil’ wayne and young money.

The genre has its figureheads: Aaron Spelling. Josh Schwartz. Kevin Willamson. the latest to arrive in america are Jamie Brittain and Bryan Elsley - the creators of Skins, which initially aired in the UK beginning in 2007. its a sensation and a total phenomenon. the british format features a group of the closest of friends through their final two years of collegiate school. two seasons feature the cast, and they’re out of there, making way for a new generation. native audiences in the UK are getting ready for series 5. stateside, i personally finished series 1 last weekend, i’m midway through series 2, and shit is heavy. this stuff has got some teeth, to the point of making me uncomfortable and giving up to try watching again later (SKETCH, anyone?! heebie jeebies. mental instability). from what i’m told from those further ahead of me, i’ve barely scratched the surface. and i understand more i where people find the addiction in the shows depth. its honestly unlike any teen television programming that’s proceeded it, which i think people find fascinating. MTV premiered their american interpretation tonight, and i have words - criticism both as a fan, and as someone kind of fearful for the media-impressionable youth of america.

first off, nerd rant commence: new york magazine did a most apt job preparing their pop culture faithful for the “translation.” which was interesting becauuuuse the show that aired tonight virtually copied the british version of the pilot scene by scene, beat for beat. but in the american suburbs with a few character adjustments. i noticed at the end of the episode, brittain and elsley were credited with writing and direction - which raises a series of questions to me. did some writers’ assistant or unpaid production intern transcribe every episode for a contracted production staff in the states? are they going to be lifting and lightly reinterpreting the language in every episode? is the pair merely contributing to this american version, which will eventually go from active consultant to passive exec producer credits? (kind of like ricky gervais does with the american version of the office).

that’s the fan in me talking. i wouldn’t be writing all of this if i didn’t think a greater problem existed with this show being on the air.

its really amazing to observe the british version through an american lens because i think its WAY too extreme of a depiction of teens “here.” skins was marketed to two distinct domestic audiences: cult entertainment lovers that know about the original series OR people (probably teenage people) that have absolutely no idea an original version even exists. they just see kids raging harder than any group of teens on screen before. probably worse, they see kids raging harder than THEM. they want to be those kids?

they clearly want to be those kids. the original version spawned “skins” parties styled after the raucous ones in the show, popping up across the UK to insane fanfare. in order to kick off and increase awareness of the american premiere, MTV had a brilliant idea to invite everyone over the age of 16 in the tri-state area to a “secret” 5000-capacity warehouse space in the west village. to no surprise, the scene was ugly. sleigh bells was playing. you know, the band featured in the super raging trailer for skins on MTV. (i heard they were from brooklyn, THEY MUST BE AWESOME!!!!)

granted, i might own up to being a perpetual wuss, but i’m no prude. teens do bad things under the radar - its in their genetics. i’m guilty, we’re all guilty, and likewise the typical suburban teenager is fueled by vice, rebellion, and an unhealthy amount of drive to achieve and succeed. but skins is leading a bad example. the boundaries portrayed on screen are being pushed too far for an american audience. lets face it: in one day has anyone, in their life or right mind, heard of of a group of american teenagers buying 4 ounces of weed, partying with a pair of hookers, smoking a joint in the school bathroom stall and defraying the sent with lysol, crashing a private school house party and stealing everyone’s car keys and cell phones which then leads to stealing an actual car, crashing said car into a river, and walking home the next morning… still a virgin. ALL IN ONE DAY. the context of this show being on the air, in its current format, in america is totally wrong.

bottom line: HOW DID THIS FLY? i’m pretty sure i heard a girl say on air on MTV “this party is on some rambunctious shit.” super audible orgasms were simulated by jumping on a trampoline, masked by trees. it was implied a teenage girl was treated for pill overdoses on the reg. who is going to claim responsibility for putting this in front of impressionable kids? let alone, on THE network “for” teenagers in america. will american parents be too preoccupied to catch onto crucifying this salacious new cable show like media past?

the one question that remains is frankly what troubles me the most. in 2011, are american kids currently, factually, really THIS nuts? is behavior like the behavior exhibited on skins actually RELEVANT among teens in the united states at this cultural moment? if so, i scoff in the style of renee zellweger’s sarcasm from the quintessential ’90s alt-teen classic empire records: ”well sinead o’rebellion. shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior.”

SHOULD WE BE OKAY WITH SLUTWAVE?

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:54:40 -0500

(via complex)

As women I mean.

I don’t ponder the principals of feminism often but I came to the realization today that some of this year’s largest musical successes and sensations came from genres that don’t exactly shine well on women - “rape gaze” and “slutwave.”

I won’t get into the former, it’s far beyond my abilities to treat with the philosophy it deserves. But the feministic implications of “slutwave” and its place among culture are an interesting study.

The height of my curiosity came to a head this morning following a series of recent incidents:

frequent casual call-and-response to Rihanna’s phrasing on “Oh Na Na - What’s My Name?”
my dearest friend’s bon voyage party having a Ke$ha theme (costumes best found at Dollar Tree, Claire’s, and Rugged Warehouse)
Darren Criss infamously reviving this season of Glee in 2 minutes and 48 seconds like shock paddles to a trauma patient
the repeat performance of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” at our office holiday party (followed by the later omission at karaoke, which incited a near-riot)
including it song as one of the only real Top 40 types on my year-end mixes

And the people I know involved in these incidents, I would call practical, smart, and fairly alternative people. Our collective love for slutwave is nonironic, unabashed, and somewhat uncontrollable. Yes, it is 2010’s gift to the prolonging pop music zeitgeist. In its midst, however, is it possible that major music has finally cornered us as seasoned nonbelievers with all of their might? Are we too, we ALL, just suckers for pretty girls singing infectious and, frankly, super sexual songs? And people shooting things out of their boobs? Constantly?

What the masses don’t actually know, is that this year their radio and likewise, their domes, have been infiltrated by one man - Dr. Luke - pop music savant and modern legend if we’re being real. Does it also blow YOUR MIND that Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA,” Ke$ha’s entire debut album, and EVERY KATY PERRY SONG YOU’VE EVER HAD STUCK IN YOUR HEAD amongmany others came from ONE DUDE? The man has hooks for miles, and a genius hyper-awareness for when a song will bring a party to life.

Moving towards the more promiscuous side of the spectrum, Complex Magazine did an awesome job recounting slutwave’s greatest hits and cornerstones with this countdown. The genre has exploded as it stems from hip hop and major pop crossovers, which is a testament to the universality of these songs essentially becoming sensational party anthems and chart-topping hits.

Lyrically, these female artists are are opening themselves up sexually, but simultaneously standing up for themselves. Slutwave really works when its slightly restrained. I see this a lot with Rihanna - she likes to challenge the dude, she is always in control (choruses of Rude Boy, What’s My Name, and Only Girl in the World). Some are discussing experimentation and defending their exploration (Lady Gaga’s Love Game, Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl). Some are just ridiculous teases without immediately giving anything up (Pussycat Dolls’ Buttons, Kelis’ Milkshake, Madonna’s Like A Virgin).

It doesn’t work when you’re just desperate and flat out overdoing it (Dirrty. Say no more. A sad blemish on the career of someone who actually has pipes.)

We don’t really cop to the genre’s implications and ignore the greater content because we gravitate towards engaging with slutwave’s greater power. Let’s face it - at the end of the day, nearly every single of these songs is a BANGER.

For girls in particular, most can acknowledge that there is something about the magic-like process of bonding with other girls through learning the lyrics and screaming them at each other on the dance floor. I can remember older girls on the back of the bus in middle school reciting the words to the Lady Marmalade and Ladies Night remixes that came out around ‘98 or so (before Lil’ Kim had super serious anger management problems). These shared experiences become harder to remember once you age a bit and have the same kind of revelations under the influence of alcohol, but they are proven to lead to warm fuzzy feelings between you and whoever you went out with last Thursday for a long, long time.

As a greater culture, we associate shared fun experiences with these songs. It’s greater effect boils down to the universality of shedding your skin, escaping your shells, and acknowledging fun… with the glimmer of hope, or maybe knowing in that moment, we’ll be young for-ev-er.

PS. If you happen to notice any other patterns, yes, those are ALL Snoop Dogg guest verses.

i would love to recreate a full fabric line called “tribal...

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 16:38:49 -0500

i would love to recreate a full fabric line called “tribal patterns of bayside high” spanning all eras of this series.

lolslater:

Feels good man.

team sassypants krushes the kardashians.

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:02:19 -0500

JRD: Can we talk about the Kardashian's Christmas Card? http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2010/12/kardashian-christmas-card.html
KES: omg yes. SO SCARY. Please note Kim's alien face/crooked eyes. Possibly the most jarring element of this, although the mini-Godfather child is also terrifying.
JRD: Or how they make poor Kendall's body look like Kim's? Look at those boobs!
ANK: Yikes! Addams Family for sure.
KES: Old skool Kardash! http://jezebel.com/5714588/vintage-kardashian-christmas-cards-reveal-awkward-poses--old-noses
LL: There is not one person smiling... who ARE these people? I bet they spell Christmas with a K.

another tall tale from the fabulous 40 watt club.

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 17:02:37 -0500

cej: Like a year ago Craig was outside the Watt smoking and it was some dance party or whatever, and these two frat boys came up and asked "Is this a gay club?" and he remembers overhearing me reply "It is now."

julieklausner: Sophie’s F/M/K: Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Chevy...

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 12:24:43 -0500

julieklausner:

Sophie’s F/M/K: Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase
by Julie Klausner & Natasha Vargas-Cooper

“Kill Steve. 92nd Street Y era Steve. Eulogize him appropriately, adding your voice to the booming chorus of millions — intellectuals and comedy nerds and cultural historians alike. Some Europeans. Art critics. Wine aficionados. You look around and quit mourning for a second, and realize you feel like Martin did during “King Tut,” back in the day. “Fuck this, I’m leaving.” You go back home and you listen to “Let’s Get Small” in your bedroom instead, like you used to with your older brother. And when it ends, or the needle starts skipping and you’re ready to go to sleep, you change into a nightie, and then, for the fuck of it, call up YouTube and sing along to “Tonight You Belong to Me,” doing both parts, just to hear it a couple of times before drifting off. Maybe you do some air ukelele, or trumpet, even. I know, he was handsome. It was all beautiful. But believe me. It’s better this way.”